" Enjoy this moment...for this moment is your life."--- Author Unknown ---

Weekends! Love them!

Had a great weekend. I had my baby girl, so I stayed home Friday night and invited Christina. I rented the movie "Friday Night Lights". It stunk! Very slow, boring movie. It bummed me out. So we hung out till about 9:30pm, and my m-m called. He had just left Percy's and was feeling pretty special. He doesn't drink that much, so you could imagine what 7 beers could do. Anyway, he made me smile. He wanted to swing by in the morning and drop off a latte for me on his way to work. I said "sure". So after the phone call, Christina decided to head home. So needless to say I was in bed by 10:00pm.
Saturday m-m called, not feeling so special. He didn't swing by, which was ok. I can tell he felt a bit embarressed from the phone call. He didn't say anything wrong. He was just a happy little camper, and wanted to call and say hi. By his tone, I can tell he is trying to do the right thing. So I will leave him alone. I do get lonely without him, but I will manage.
Later that day I met my girlfriends Libby and Kim. We are on the hunt for bridesmaids dresses. Libby is getting married August 27th, and she wants us to be in yellow dresses. And of course, Kim is about 4-5 inches taller then me, but I have the breasts that make up for both of us. So finding one style to fit both of us has been hard. So we are still looking.
Went out Saturday night with Christina. We went to Percy's to possibly meet Scott. She wants to see what he looks like. Mara and Brent met us there. I am so happy for her. Brent seems like a very charming guy. Too bad there isn't a twin of him!
Scott wasn't there, thank heavens. But we ended up going downtown to the Twilight Room. That was ok, saw many friends from childhood when I attended church. Very nice people.
Big Easy was boring, so we left and walked down to the Pub club. That was fun. I would go back there. But all in all I had a great night.
Sunday was a great relaxing day with Keira. We played, napped, and went shopping.

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Great week, TGIF!

Ahhh, finally Friday. Have had a pretty good week. I have my babygirl so I have had fun playing with her. I have been thinking about Christina a lot. I am excited for her, but then on the other hand I know she is a bit stressed. I would really like to meet this ex and sock him right in the nuts. And I would say "Don't use it, unless you are ready for any circumstances!" He is being such a immature idiot. Christina is a wonderful loving person, and he can't seem to see that. He feels that she tricked him into this, and that she should just abort it. What a jerk! Scott kind of did the same thing to me when I found out I was pregnant. He didn't want to grow up. But Scott eventually did grow up and now he doesn't know what he would do without this little girl. Hopefully this guy sees the light. But we will see. I know that she could do it without him too. No need for that kind of bullshit in a child's life. She will make a great mom to this wonderful child. Everything happens for a reason. That is why I have Keira. She made me a better person. I value my life much more then I did before. Oh, and can I say I hope she has a girl? It seems all my girlfriends have boys. So needless to say, Keira has enough boys in her life. hee, hee.
Yesterday I had to run to Costco. Had a gentleman follow me out to my car, and tell me that I am absolutely gorgeous. WOW, I said. Very nice of you to say that! Of course my shopping cart had diapers, wipes, bag balm, cold medicine, and lip gloss. So you could pretty much figure that I had a child. He asked if I was married. I told him no. He seemed very surprised. So then I said well I was, but I am going through a divorce. I only had time for small talk, since I was on my lunch break. But as we were talking he did mention that he has 3 kids and he is in a separation right now. Ok, well, this guy seems like he has alot going on and or he is a bit complicated. He is black, which I have have never experienced before. My father (who is not racist, trust me) always told me to stay away from some of those men. They treat their women like trophy's. So honestly I am not sure if I will call this guy. But I do have to say, it did look like he had his stuff together. And very cute. Probably a good dancer too!
Spoke with my m-m, I think we confirmed that we have officially ended our escapade. Bummer, but it is the right thing. By the phone call yesterday, I could tell by his voice he has to do what he has to do. He is crazy about his little girls, and wouldn't want to hurt them in any way. One thing I know, is I will always be fond of him and he is a wonderful man. His wife is very lucky to have him.
Staying home tonight. But going out tomorrow night with Christina. I think we are heading downtown. She is picking me up. God bless her. And Grandma will be watching babygirl. I want to go to the Wine bar that my friend Ramsin owns. And then I don't know where. But I do know that I will get a cab home. I kinda like this "not driving thing". Can't be too careful!

I rock!

I had the most amazing day at work. I closed a $76,000 software sale with a company over in Billings, MT. I danced around the office like I had won the lottery. And what is cool, is that I am the only women salesperson, and I have had the biggest and most consistant sales of them all. Now I don't do just sales, I do training, subscriptions, and marketing. So you can say I am one busy girl. But I love my job. I am thankful to say that.

I have been crazy about Bruce for years. He just makes me go ahhhh!

Now how could any women not love this man! Too Sexy!

Sexual desires running high

Ok, well it has been awhile since I have been able to experience an exciting night of passion. Almost 2 months. WOW, I am going crazy here. What the heck. How come all of a sudden I have such a sudden urge to have sex. I mean, I know that I am not the only one. But I am not kidding you, I have been humming for the last 4 days. It is crazy, exciting, but at the same time annoying. I have been thinking of what (good) friends that I know, who would make casual sex ok to do with. Hmmm. Well not sure. There is this guy Mic, he is nice, I am not too attracted to him. Never really looked at him that way. But we have been friends for 10 years. He worked with me when I started delivering parts right out of high school. This guy has been crazy about me for years upon years. Well he has been insisting that we "get together". I am just not sure about it, I am not sure how I would feel.
Then I have my m-m, who I am totally attracted to, we are great in bed together, but he is usually never available, and I know it isn't a good idea. I sure miss him though. I knew that he would make each time totally worth it to me. He definetly knows how to make me feel good.
Then there is this guy Shane, that I met at the gym about 6 months ago through some friends. He is very nice to me. And he comments to me all the time, how great I look, etc. He is very sweet. But not exactly my type. Which I don't know what my type is, I like dark hair, makes a good living, decent shape, crazy about me, and a great lover. Am I asking too much? Don't get me wrong, I don't want a serious relationship right now, I know that for certain. But what standards do you put on the line for casual sex? Is friends enough?
Shane, is short, not really the looks I am looking for, and he works at Strohs, not exactly the career I am looking for in a man. Plus, he is so sweet, that I think he would get to emotionally involved. Which is not what I am looking for right now. I am very picky about the men I sleep with.
And there is no way I would go to my ex. Hell no! Yuck. he was horrible in bed. Maybe that is why since my freedom, I have turned into this sexual beauty. But I have been playing it safe, and depending on my "friends" at home. They live under my bed, but they work everytime. So I guess till someone knocks the socks off me, I will stick to myself.

To my ex ~

A PRAYER....

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand him;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,

I'll beat him to death.AMEN

Little Black Book

Valentines day went better then I thought. I had my baby girl dressed in velvet and pigtails, cute as can be. Then my girlfriend Christina called and wanted to know if I wanted some company. I said great, I will fix dinner and we will get a movie. So dinner turned out great. And I put my girl to bed, and we decided to watch Little Black Book. It was ok. Funny in some areas. But it made me think. Would I want to know the secrets of the past of someone I was dating? Hmm. Part of me say yes, but then another part of me says no way. I would hate to know the different connections to other women that he had shared. Great sex, Favorite places to have dinner, etc. I wouldn't want to go thru that emotional rollercoaster of doubt.
Well on another note, I am feeling much better about the new relationship that my ex has found. For one, she isn't as gorgeous as me! On another note, I am ready to find someone of my own. Or at least a booty call. I think there is nothing wrong with a booty call. It has been awhile!! Dang it!

It is getting better all the time, right?

Had a good weekend. Took a short trip to go see my grandmother in Colville. Made her day. I had my little girl with me, and my grandmother loves to see how much she had grown. Saturday night went to a friends house for beers and nachos. They have kids, so it is a great time for Keira and I. Then yesterday had a birthday party for Nolan, their youngest. Then just as I was getting ready for bed, my ex called and told me that he has found someone and that he wanted to be honest with me. Ok, well I am thinking... wow this is soon. But anyway, he tells me that Keira will meet her next weekend. I don't feel good about this at all. He said that this could turn into something serious. I asked when he met her? He said Friday night. Well wait a minute. Is this necessary? I don't think so. But he has a card party planned next weekend with a group of people and this new girlfriend will be there. Huh. So now I am going through this feeling of seeing him moving on, which is what I want. But I wasn't sure how it would feel. It is weird. I know I don't want to be with him. There was no passion in our relationship, no attraction towards him. He has been trying to make it work, but I just have been sticking to doing my own thing. Not wanting to mislead him. I just wasn't prepared to deal with this now. And to top it off he tells me the night before Valentines Day. Thanks that was nice of you. It has been the first Valentines day in 8 years that I will be without a significant other, just me and my girl.
So we will have a very special night. Spaghetti, meatballs, and ice cream. Her favorite!

Crazy Horoscopes, these will make you laugh!

Just for fun I found this website called crazy horoscopes, http://www.crazyhoroscopes.com/
Funny Stuff. I like to read horoscopes for the heck of it. But they have a thing called love match. Get this, I put in my sign Aries and my m-m's sign Pisces, and this is what it said -
The delicate Pisces male is not likely to survive in the company of a fiery Aries female. He is a romantic and deep down, loves to hold hands and be close, while her idea of romance would be deliberately irritating him with the famous 'Thailand ping-pong ball trick' and firing them at his head while laughing her ass off, because she hit him in the eye! This would probably end up getting on his nerves which would result in him being sectioned and drooling in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.
Horn Meter Reading: 1/5 heartsRating: Death Horn!Verdict: Entering this relationship will be like trying to french-kiss a spitting cobra - extremely dangerous! However if you are confident that you can do it then I wish you the best of luck.
Funny - can't wait to see what Mara's and Brent's comes out to be, or christina's and her ex's.
Let me know what they are girls!

Keira and I at the Oregon Coast when we went last July.

It is the company that makes the party, not the drinks.

Since I have separated from my husband I have had the opportunity to meet some great women. One person that comes to mind is Christina. We have had a great time for the last 5 months. I feel I have really gained a true friend. She is usually the one that always brings my spirits up. Well with just recently getting a DUI I feel that I have let her down. Not because of the DUI but because now I have a different look at how I should be dealing with life. I have to be careful. I been living life carelessly and not thinking about tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I have had a blast in the last 5 months, but when I got that DUI, I have never been so scared in my life, other then when I finally decided that I had to leave my husband regardless that we had a daughter and all. I know we could go out and not drink. And Christina seems to be able to do that real well. But when I was pregnant I didn't drink a drop, and I have to say that it was ok sometimes, and sometimes I literally wanted to kill someone. Seeing everyone have fun, and you can't really sucked. Plus I work hard all week and I deserve to have a relaxing beer or glass of wine. But I now have decided to not drink each time we go out. I am definitely wanting to start doing other things, such as movies, dinners, and such.
I have been introduced to Mara, a friend of Christina's. She has become another friend that I have truly enjoyed. All our stories that we share with eachother. This is what life is about. Girlfriends.

Love ~ My meaning ~

I wanted to write a couple thoughts down on what love means to me.

Love means admiration, passion, and respect.

If you have any two of these, you are doing great.

If you have all three you won't have to die before you get to heaven!!

Dang it, now I don't have any secrets.

Women, Vibrators, and Nipple Cream

My girlfriend Gina invited me over to a Lingerie party, which is what I thought. Till I walked in. Oh my god, she had a huge table of toys. I immediately blushed. I was definitely too sober for this. So I decided to go have a quick smoke. Well the hostess was nice, but how do I say it, extremely big. I commend this lady for being so in touch with her sexuality, but on the other hand, I did not want to think about her doing anything. So as time went on, we had 20 ladies in the room, all hooting and hollering over our cha-cha's. Of course I found some stuff that interested me, but all I could think about is who to use this stuff with. My m-m? Maybe.
So there were all sizes of vibrators, and crazy looking ones, I must say. The most popular one there was a vibrator that was blue with a dolphin hooked on the side for the clitoris, and then the tip of the vibrator moved around in circles, with also this beads that were inside of the middle that you could feel at the same time. WOW. Didn't buy it, but thought about it. I have some favorites at home that seem to work real, real, well. No problems there. So I decided to forget about buying any toys. Now I did pick up this stuff called "Nipplelicious", now this stuff interested me. It is a flavored cream that you rub on your nipples and they stay hard for like 20 minutes or so. I tried it, and it worked. So I had to buy that. I bought the raspberry flavor. Also they had some sheet and body spray that has pheromones in it. We all tried it and it smelled awesome. So I bought some of that. I have always been a fan of linen spray, but now I have a spray for sex on the sheets. Awesome!! Then I bought some shaving cream that is made specifically for the girls cha-cha. Well I have always shaved my cha-cha, but if this makes the hair softer, and no bumps. Well more right to do it! I just have to remember to leave some hair there. Don't like the bald look. I am not 9 years old.
So that is all I bought. But there was this Love Potion #9, a couple women tried it, you put it on your cha-cha and it immediately opens the cappalaries and increases blood flow. Well I thought about it, but it was $20.00 for a 4 ounce bottle, and honestly I have always had no problem having a orgasm, it is uncommon for me to have just one. I usually have 2 or 3 during any time. So needless to say, I only had one drink, but had a blast. Don't think I will throw a party, but I got some great ideas for my girlfriend Libby's bacholarette party, and also for some lucky fellow.
Christina honey, sorry I wasn't able to meet up with you. I just am scared to drink and drive at all. And I don't want to be tempted. If I do drink, I want to know that I can get a cab home and take my time not have to worry about going to work. But we will get together soon. Promise. Love you honey.

Meet the Fockers!

Ok, well this post is a bit late, but this movie rocked. Went with my girlfriend Christina last night and decided I needed some girl time. It had been a long time, since I had gone to a movie and dinner with a girlfriend. We had a bite to eat at the downtown Red Robin, and saw some old friends that I have known most of my life. It was Ramsin and Ramone. Ramsin was actually my youth group leader when I was attending church, this was about the time when I was 14 years old. Ramone is his brother. Nice guys. Not my type at all, but I could always tell that they were interested in me. And then with my girl Christina with me, they dug her also. They said some great compliments about how both of us looked, and invited us down to their Wine Bar that they both have opened.
Ramsin also is a DJ for the local area, he does a awesome job. I actually used him for my wedding and he did a great job. I would highly recommend him to anyone. He DJ's down at the Big Easy sometimes, and to other big events. Tomorrow is Mardi Gra so he will be working at the Big Easy.
So we leave them to finished their dinner and we order some food. Craving a beer, and knowing we were going to a movie I went ahead and ordered one. For food I didn't get what I usually do, but Christina did. How come everyone I know that goes to Red Robin always has a favorite that they order and they don't get anything different? I can't say much because I am the same way. They have a Baja Club that is too die for! Out of all the times I have been there, I have ordered something different only twice. Weird, but I can't resist that sandwich! Anyway, we go to pay for our tab, and we have no tab. Ramsin and Ramone paid it for us. Very cool. Unexpected but very cool. Got home about 9:30, crawled into bed. Started to read my book again. It is getting good. So I have been reading before bed for the last 3 days straight.

As I am reading a song comes on called
" I might hate myself in the morning, but I'm going to love you tonight."
WOW, I can relate to this one, how you wake up a little sad, missing the one you care about. The one that might be a bad idea to be caring about.
Hmmmm. Makes me think I might have to buy this cd.

I didn't know the word "bad" was in Friday.

Well it has been awhile since I wrote, and unfortunately alot has happened. Friday started out good till I was heading home late Friday night and got pulled over. Not only by a cop, but a women cop. She said the reason for me getting pulled over was because of my plates, they came up invalid. I said "what?" I just renewed them, and I am good till February 10th. I showed her the registration and all. Well she must of been out to get me, and asked me to step out of the vehicle. This is after she tells me that it was not my driving that was the reason for the stop. Oh shit. I say. I had been drinking. Ok, well I have a really good tolerance for alcohol, thanks to my ex husband. I never used to drink alot, till I met him. So anyway, for only being 4'11", I can put down some beers and shots and still hang out with the best of them. I think I have amazed some people. So anyway the breathilizer did not come out good I blew a .187. Ok well I am not proud of that, but if you saw me you wouldn't of known and either did the police officer, that showed up later. He was feeling for me, most of those guy cops do. Thank god! A hour goes by and we finally leave and she tells me that they are going to impound my car. I lost it! Now I am a emotional wreck. I have a job, I have a daughter. This is not good. So I get taken down to the cop station. What a loser I felt like. I am a good person who works hard and makes a great living for daughter and myself. This can't be happening to me. Well it did. And I spent the rest of the next day, feeling like a supreme loser. I felt like I had lost all respect from my family and friends. But between my family and friends they really helped me realize that these kind of things don't change who you are, they are just mistakes that can happen to anyone. So now you see where I get my name Scarlett D. My girlfriend Machelle thought of that one on Super Bowl. Yeah, thanks to her. But I do kinda like it.

Friday thoughts ~

Well I am sitting here at my desk waiting for the last 1/2 hour to go by. Had a pretty good today even though I stayed out late last night. Haven't heard from my m-m. Wonder what he is up to. I know this is what we need to do. I do think of him often, wondering what he is thinking.
I hope he is happy. I am happy and ok with everything. I know my girlfriends have their thoughts about this m-m and they are just watching out for me, but after talking with Christina last night and her telling me about her affair with a m-m, It made me think how fun of times those are with my m-m. Wrong, I know. But it is so different and exciting. Maybe because we have no strings attached. Plus he is very talented in the right department. Christina knows what I am talking about! I am sure I will think of him for the next 10 years, and the time I had with him was absolute fun!
Going out with Jeannie tonight. It is time for Ellie to get her groove back on!
Cheers!

Karaoke brings out all kinds of Characters

So after work Christina and I planned to meet up again. So we plan to meet at Percy's well that didn't work out, because there was only about 8 people in there. So we left and went to Goodtymes. Stayed there for a bit, but we got bored. Anyway we ended back at Matthew's. It was Karaoke night. Some of the same people were there from the night before. And also there was the one girl, who had on the exact same outfit that she wore the night before. We were in amazement. What the heck. How could someone do that and then go back to the same place the next night. So as time goes by we notice this guy who doesn't look a day over 21, just completely trashed. I'm thinking that a fight was going to start anytime. So he gets up and sings "The Gambler". Ok, don't care much for the song. But he definitely ruined it. This guy actually kind of freaked me out. Then there was this guy Terry, probably late 50's early 60's. He just thought he was all that. He had some awesome teeth, wait a minute, ok he had only 6 teeth that I could see. Not a pretty sight! So he gets up and sings " Don't tell me you love me, by Night Ranger". Ok, I have never laughed so hard in my life. He is running around on the stage, really getting into it. Oh MY GOD! So get this - He sings the same song again later that night!! Oh he was a piece of work. Let me tell you. Christina sang "Chantilly Lace", that was a awesome song for her. She cracks me up. Also she taught me how to swing last night. So now I know how to do that. Anyway, had a fun night with Christina, again!!!! Love that girl!

Pole Dancing anyone??

Ok so it was my turn for the bad day and work was a nightmare. So needless to say I was ready to meet for a beer with Christina. So we head to Matthew's to meet. Of course, craving a beer, I get there a bit early and it is dead in there. I am expecting Christina to want to leave when she arrives. So she shows up and I tell her we can leave as soon as I finish my beer. Well in the next 15 minutes more and more people show up. So we decided to stay and play some darts. We met a great couple, and started to have lots of fun. I was in the mood to drink, so the beer is going down really well. So the waitress comes by and tells us that they are going to have a pole dancing contest. She tells us, "oh you two are beautiful, you must do it, blah, blah, blah. Christina and I look at eachother and say "no way". So anyhow, she talks us into it. And brings us a shot of Rumplminz. Damn that was strong! But we needed it to be prepared for this. I was 3rd up to do my little dance on the "pole". By this time, being so nervous I put down 3 more shots and I am feeling pretty special. So I do my dance, the guys seemed to like it. And my girl Christina does her dance. She rocks. She ends up in the running with another girl for the grand prize of $100.00. Well the winner ended up being a professional stripper that could do things with the pole that I had never seen before. So she definitely deserved it, but as far as looks go, Christina and I were the hottest there. None of the girls at this place were much to look at. So we knew everyone dug us. So as time went on, I got totally drunk. Christina the sweety she is followed me home, and gave me some vitamins to take before bed. I woke and felt great. Couldn't believe it!
Had a great time as usual. Definitely will go there again. But I won't be doing no pole dancing that is for sure. Christina did take some pictures, so I will get some up here soon.