Did you say the "love" word?

Uh oh, well I wanted to write down some thoughts yesterday but was unable to. Well work went well, and it is another crazy day today. I work for a Autodesk Reseller, and it seems everyone is building, and wanting to spend money for this incredible software that we sell. Which is awesome! I don't want to see the end of these profitable months!
Still feeling better as each day comes. Matt took me to lunch yesterday at the Steam Plant. Had a great lunch. He informed me that his wife asked him last night if he was having a affair. He said he denied it and blew it off. But his wife is starting to notice some changes with him, which I knew she would. I can tell he is somewhat stressed, but also so excited to see me at the same time. I told him that I do not want to destroy what he has, he knows that. And that we can stop this anytime. He does not want to stop he said. He looks at me so differently lately. He eyes are so comforting.
So as we left the restaurant, he held my hand out of the restaurant. This is a big move. I respect his position in his life, so I don't request any kind of public affection. So for him to grab my hand, it makes me think that he is on a different level with me.
After work I headed home to go get ready for the gym. Called Christina to see what they were going to do. They decided to head downtown. It kinda bummed me out, but Christina always heads to the valley, even though she lives on the south hill. But with it being a "school night", well I mean a work night, I just couldn't go downtown. On the weekends, not a problem. I will have to buck up soon, I miss her! We are planning to meet on Friday, which I wish would get here quick. I am ready for a drink with Christina and Mara, and my other good friend Jeannie. It will be Jeannie's 29th birthday. God I can't believe how time has flown by!
Matt swung by my apartment as I was walking out the door. We talked for a bit. We laughed about a story he told me happened to him earlier that day. Well time passed by, and he had to go, so we hugged and he kissed me and said it, "I love you". Ok, well it took me off guard there for a moment. I just didn't know what to say. I paused for a moment or two, and hugged him again, and said nothing. He replies "you don't have to say it, I just had to tell you how I feel."
I told him that if he wasn't married, I would feel different. I hopped out of his truck, and went to the gym. Ok, now my mind is going crazy. I don't know what to do. I truly do care for this man, maybe I do love him, maybe not. I just know I smile when I see him. But now what?